meme

Taking a break from cross-eyed order entry at work.

1. My uncle once: bought me the coolest Lego set available in my childhood–the castle.

2. Never in my life: will I do something I know I will one day regret.

3. When I was five: I got a little brother.

4. High school was: where I cultivated my finely honed nerdiness combined with a fierce need to compete.

5. I will never forget: all of the helping verbs (is are was were be being am have had has do does did may might must can could shall should will would).

6. Once I met: Bryan, I knew I was set.

7. There’s this boy I know: and he’s an asshole boy trapped in an incompetent, homophobic man’s body. I hope he gets shitcanned.

8. Once, at a bar: I dropped a full pint of beer, told my pal the bartender I was probably done drinking, then ordered another one.

9. By noon, I’m usually: ready for lunch.

10. Last night: I cooked a feast for Bryan and our houseguests.

11. If only I had: another bike.

12. Next time I go to church: I will probably not be at the one I grew up in.

13. What worries me most: is putting together money for a down payment on a house. But I’m still not that worried because I don’t worry much.

14. When I turn my head left I see: two printers and three post-it notes stuck to the wall.

15. When I turn my head right I see: Garrett’s desk.

16. You know I’m lying when: I tell you I’m lying.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: being a kid and having no responsibilities.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: one of the characters who appears in the first act, has one or two lines, then doesn’t appear again.

19. By this time next year: I will be preparing to go to EuroBike.

20. A better name for me would be: Darland Sasacha.

21. I have a hard time understanding: how stupid people got to be that way.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be in grad school, pissing away money to get another degree in a subject I love but won’t use.

23. You know I like you if: I actually listen when you talk to me.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: Bryan, because he probably was the reason I tried in the first place.

25. Take my advice, never: take my advice.

26. My ideal breakfast is: coffee and something made at home. Served around noon.

27. A song I love but do not have is: a song I haven’t heard yet. I’m buried in music and I have a compulsion to own it if I like it.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: think of things to do that don’t require being in my hometown..

29. Why won’t people: actually think before they speak?

30. If you spend a night at my house: you should be someone who doesn’t mind 87 pounds of neurotic labrador retriever mix.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: nothing. And I didn’t.

32. The world could do without: 90% of the population.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat raisins.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Bryan! Bottled blonde counts, eh?

35. Paper clips are more useful than: not having paper clips.

36. If I do anything well it’s: sleeping. I should be in the Olympics.

37. I can’t help but: I might try.

38. I usually cry: on the 12th of Never. I can’t remember the last time I cried.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: only idiots say “don’t sweat the small stuff.” Ultimately only the small stuff makes a difference.

40. And by the way: I’m having a good day.

1. You have 50 dollars in your pocket. What do you do with it?
Save it. Nothing I want to splurge on costs that little.

2. Your ultimate OTP? (fandom or real life)
Mulder and Scully. Or Buffy and Faith.

3. Have you ever seen someone die?
A rabbit, not a person.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Only because I’m pretty sure that the Magic 8 Ball at work was lying to me yesterday.

5. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Riding a true single-speed. Or, uh, something. Not getting my 10 year pin, I hope.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
Both. One without the other isn’t much good. Just much pain and since I’ve been there, I say pants.

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
This does not work. Why are their feelings more important than mine anyhow?

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Sleep with them anyway. It’s always worked for me in the past.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
My bike is going “kuh-KUN-ka.”

10. What do you want most in life?
Right now? For Stanford to win a national championship.

11. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins do you think you relate to the most & why?
Gluttony. Me want MORE! Though perhaps I should try some more lust…

12. Who would you most like to roundhouse kick in the face?
Ooooh, now this is easy. And OH MY GOD that roundhouse kick would be so satisfying. You know who it is.

12. What’s one of the best memories of your life?
Something random: I went to a giant fair or carnival or something with Rachel when we were about nine or ten. We went on all kinds of rides, including bumper boats. Every time you bumped someone, you got a tiny electrical shock. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t safe, but we thought it was really funny.

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
Bryan

14. What kind of person do you think you are?
Crusty, but generally pretty ok.

15. Do you believe there is nothing higher than human kind?
Seriously? Where does this question come from? Dogs have got it good. They are clearly superior to human kind.

16. Which fictional character could you most see yourself marrying?
Martin Blank. Or Scully.

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
I do try.

18. Do you have a motto? If yes which one?
“I’m just sayin’.” That’s what I seem to be repeating a lot these days.

19. What type of friends do you like?
The good ones. Who will laugh at me, with me, for me, and then give me a hug.

20. Do you have an all time favorite song?
My favorite song right now is “The Underdog” by Spoon. All time? I don’t know.