February 2007

I am never taking Shalon to Sports Authority ever again. Ever. While it seemed like a good idea for the two of us to go out and have lunch and then go aimlessly shopping, it was not. Don’t do it. I decided that we’d go to Sports Authority so I could buy a balance board (ended up buying this one online instead). We wandered around a little, then ended up in the team sports area. Somewhere back there was a bin full of gear for frisbee golf. Please note that in no way are these frisbees really meant to be caught. They’re SOLID and vicious. I hear my name and I turn around. One of them is winging toward me. Unlike George Michael Bluth, I don’t duck when things are thrown at me, I attempt to catch them. Mistake number one. The frisbee hit me where my middle finger joins the palm of my hand.

This is a tender spot. The bruise started to form immediately. At least she had the courtesy to say “aww” before she started laughing. It’s actually worse than the photo might indicate, but I’m not in the mood to take another photo.

So this was my Valentine’s gift from Shalon. If this is what kind of “romantic” gift one gets for having The Third Kind of love, then I’m not so sure I want it anymore. Luckily it wasn’t my only gift. Bryan gave me awesome stuff last night, and I bought myself a Gap PRODUCT Redâ„¢ Hamme(red) shirt.

My dad was convinced I had whooping cough because I’ve been sick for about two weeks now. People at work then decided that it might be whooping cough or SARS or avian flu or whatever else. I woke up this morning at 4am feeling like the left side of my face had imploded. The verdict is clear–sinus infection! Now I’ve got antibiotics and nasal spray (which, ironically, smells awful) and will hopefully be better in a few days. If only the cough would go away.

I just turned 88. Or was it 29? Can’t ever remember.

Thanks to all my well-wishers. Especially my brother, who reminded me that next year I’ll be “really old.” A heap of MySpace messages, many phone calls (apologies to Amanda who doesn’t like my new voice mail messgage) including Savannah singing to me and Lorilee promising to take me to Indian food when she’s back (so holding you to that, lady), cupcakes from Brandy which were super tasty and filled with sarcasm, and an offer of a “homemade gift” from Shalon (but I don’t want her stool sample).

My friends are awesome.

They also all want/expect me to go out and get hammered. I guess that is my M.O. during this time of year (and every time of year), but I did work tonight. Closed the store and everything. Got to have drinks afterwards with a few pals, but it was very chill.

To our waitress at the bar: You suck. We asked you to apply the cash toward our bill then split the rest. Not pocket $16.75 as your tip on a $62.79 bill after you lagged bringing out drinks and water (twice!), didn’t bring the menu that Deb asked for which you offered us even though the kitchen was closed, and bitched at us for not wanting crap that you said was possibly-mint floating in our water. You deserved every penny of your $1.75 tip. And please note that it was only $1.75 because you didn’t give back the quarters to begin with. Please slam your shin into every chair you walk past. kthxbye.